What To Expect During Sex Therapy - The Role Of Sex Therapy: Womens Sexual Health
Content provided by the Faculty of the Harvard Medical School
What to expect during sex therapy
To understand what takes place during a sex therapy session, it's important to know what doesn't happen. Contrary to popular misconceptions, you will not undress in front of the sex therapist, make love while he or she is watching, or have sex with anyone other than your partner. If having to discuss your sex life with anyone other than your partner and perhaps your doctor is an obstacle to getting help, you can rest assured that the sex therapist will not push you too quickly. Also, part of the treatment process is learning how to talk about your sexual feelings more comfortably.
The role of sex therapy is to help people explore their sexual concerns, better communicate their sexual needs, and expand their repertoire of sexual and sensual activities. By increasing the overall pleasure and intimacy of sexual contact, a couple will be able to enjoy expressions of sensuality that are free from the goal-driven pressures of intercourse and orgasm.
Masters and Johnson pioneered sex therapy in the 1960s. The original model consisted of an intensive two-week treatment program revolving around daily therapy sessions. Couples traveled to the Masters and Johnson Institute and stayed in a hotel for the duration of the treatment. Although intensive weeklong or weekend programs are still available at a few centers around the country, most practitioners use a modified format in which the couple meets with the therapist in his or her office for weekly 50-minute sessions. There are certified sex therapists in most major cities, so you won't need to travel far from home to get help.
Much of the work of sex therapy is actually done at home between meetings with the therapist. After the initial getting-to-know-each-other period, the therapist will assign you and your partner materials to read or behavioral exercises to practice at home. You'll be asked to focus on your feelings and sensations during the assignment and to discuss them with the therapist in the next session.
The therapist may also serve as a sex educator. In many cases — for example, with age-related changes or vaginal pain syndromes — understanding the physiological basis of the problem often goes a long way toward relieving your anxiety, as well as your partner's. The therapist will discuss such issues with you during therapy sessions and may suggest useful books and videos. He or she will also challenge erroneous beliefs that stand in the way of enjoyable sex, such as "All sexual contact must lead to intercourse," "The man must be in charge of the sexual activity," or "Foreplay is only for teenagers."
Sex therapy can also help you learn to control other factors that inhibit your sexual performance. By understanding where stressors lie and how they influence sexual functioning, a couple can take steps to create a relaxed, distraction-free environment for sex. Older couples who need more time to reach arousal and orgasm may find they benefit from making an extra effort to set a romantic mood.
Overcoming anxiety about sex therapyIf you think sex therapy may be helpful but you're still uneasy about it, there are several ways to learn more about this treatment. Sexual self-help books and videos often describe exercises that a sex therapist might assign. Many even include a chapter explaining sex therapy. Your primary care doctor, gynecologist, or urologist may also be able to tell you something about the process. Even if they understand what's involved in sex therapy, couples may be hesitant to take the first step. Anxieties revolve around the fear that something serious is wrong with them, that sex therapy will hurt their marriage by focusing too much on the problem, or that if the therapy doesn't work it means the situation is hopeless. During an initial phone call, a sex therapist will be able to address these issues and very likely ease your anxiety. Sex therapy is most successful when both partners are willing participants. However, if one partner is resistant, the other may seek treatment alone. In this case, the sex therapist may encourage the hesitant partner to attend for at least one session in order to discuss his or her thoughts on the issue. If the partner is unwilling to engage in therapy even to this extent, it's still possible for the other partner to benefit from the process. |
| Last updated: | January 23, 2007 |
|---|
Medical content reviewed by the Faculty of the Harvard Medical School. Harvard Health Publications, Copyright © 2007 by President and Fellows of Harvard College. All rights reserved. Used with permission of StayWell.
This information is not intended to replace the advice of a doctor. By using AOL Body, you indicate that you have read, understood, and agreed to our Terms of Service, Use of Content Agreement and AOL Body Advertising Policy. Read more about our content partners.
Search
Related Articles
Where Does it Hurt?
If you're experiencing aches and pains we can help you find answers. Find out what your symptoms mean for your health.
