Stress And Lifestyle Issues - Emotional And Social Issues: Womens Sexual Health

Content provided by the Faculty of the Harvard Medical School

Stress and lifestyle issues

Stress and fatigue are major libido sappers. During midlife, stress can hit from any direction. Challenging teenagers, financial worries, aging parents, concern about your health or that of a loved one, and career woes are common. With so many demands on your time and attention, you and your partner may neglect to nurture your relationship, which can cause your sexual connection to fray.

Sheer lack of time is often a major factor. The physical changes in sexual response that occur in both men and women as they age mean that it will take you and your partner more time to become aroused and reach orgasm than it did in your younger years. You may find it hard to squeeze an extended lovemaking session into an already packed day. If a couple typically waits until bedtime to have sex, exhaustion also can become an obstacle.

Stress has a particularly deleterious effect on libido, especially in women. Whereas men can sometimes use sex to relax, women more often need to be relaxed in order to enjoy sex. This mismatch can create conflict for a couple.

Sexual issues brought on solely by stress and fatigue often can be remedied simply by taking a short vacation. If you and your partner are able to resume pleasurable lovemaking in a pressure-free environment, you'll be reassured that the underpinnings of your sexual relationship are sound.

Midlife and after is also a time when profound lifestyle changes take place. Events such as retirement and children leaving home can upset decades-long patterns in a couple's life. Many couples go through a period of adjustment when they retire. For example, if one person is used to being in the house alone much of the time, his or her feeling of control over the domain can be threatened by the partner's constant presence.

One bonus is that retirement or changes in working habits may allow you and your partner the opportunity to engage in leisurely lovemaking — something you may have lacked for many years. One danger, however, is that couples who begin spending a lot of time together may stop making an effort to include romance in their relationship.

Chronic illness is a major cause of sexual difficulties. People who are ill may find that a condition or its treatment causes sexual difficulties, while healthy partners may worry that sexual activity will make their loved one's condition worse. The fatigue and stress of the caretaker role may also dampen desire. In addition, sexual interest may wane for both partners if their caretaker-patient relationship begins to feel too much like that of a parent and child. During this time, many people also experience the loss of someone close. Grieving may make it difficult to enjoy anything pleasurable, including sex.

Last updated:	January 23, 2007