Body Image And Self Esteem - Emotional And Social Issues: Womens Sexual Health

Content provided by the Faculty of the Harvard Medical School

Body image and self-esteem

Gravity is not kind to your body as you age. Nor is childbirth, a fatty diet, lack of exercise, or the hormone declines that lead to muscle loss, loose skin, and thinning hair. What does this have to do with your sex life? It can have everything to do with it if you let it. Worry about having your partner see your sagging breasts or potbelly can discourage you from having sex, or you may demand that sex take place only under the covers, with the lights out, while you're wearing a T-shirt. Needless to say, these conditions don't leave much room for inspired lovemaking. Often, a preoccupation with your appearance while making love will prevent you from fully enjoying sex.

Relationship conflicts can ensue. When one partner needs constant reassurance about his or her attractiveness and becomes overly sensitive to perceived criticism, it can foster mutual resentment.

By shifting your focus away from your perceived flaws to your attributes, you can boost your self-esteem and establish your own standards for attractiveness. Think back on what it was that made you attractive in your younger years. Was it your soulful brown eyes, your crooked smile, or maybe your infectious laugh? Chances are, those qualities are still as appealing as ever.

Also, try directing your attention to the experience of giving and receiving pleasure during sex. This can help you find the confidence to give yourself over to the experience. Great sex is often the outgrowth of a deep emotional connection — something that's not guaranteed by having a perfect body.

A negative self-image isn't always rooted in your appearance. Career setbacks or other disappointments can lead to feelings of failure and depression, both of which sap desire. For men, episodes of impotence can undercut confidence in their manhood. No matter what its cause, a poor self-image can take a toll on your sex life. When performance anxiety develops as a result, it can spark a downward spiral of repeated sexual failure and diminishing self-esteem. Correcting this problem demands serious attention to its origin.

Last updated:	January 23, 2007