Ladies: Here's What Your Guy Doesn't Want to Hear

12 Things Women Should Never Say to Men

By Karen Asp

Whether you're married or dating, you're in a relationship with a great guy, and you'll do anything to stay on his good side. How? Watch your words. "There are certain red-button phrases for men that they just don't like to hear," says April Masini, the dating-advice expert behind AskApril.com and author of "Think & Date Like a Man." We also tapped Nicholas Aretakis, author of "Ditching Mr. Wrong," to get a guy's perspective. Take their advice and keep those lips zipped when it comes to these touchy phrases.

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1. Do you love me (especially if it's too soon in a relationship)?

Guys love their freedom, and for many single guys, the idea of making a serious commitment can be scary. Say this too early in a relationship, even if you've been intimate, and the guy might slam on the brakes, says Aretakis. If you're married, it's okay to ask this, but if you want to get the kind of answer you deserve, do it when there are no distractions around you.

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2. I'm thinking about having some plastic surgery.

"Men like women to look naturally beautiful," Masini says. That means no plastic surgery; no fake anything, not even any make-up. Of course, what he doesn't know won't hurt him, or you. So if you put on lip gloss, concealer and mascara to get this "natural look," just make sure you don't look like you're wearing a mask, and you'll be good to go. This can be true for plastic surgery too -- as long as it looks real, you might be able to get away with it.

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3. You used to take me out more often -- now we don't do anything.

Men love to hang out, watch TV and veg. Even if you're doing nothing, he's thinking that at least you're doing nothing together. So to him, this doing nothing really is doing something, Masini says. Plus, realize that cash flow could be low, especially during these hard economic times. If you want a change, plan low-cost things you both enjoy doing together. If the only thing you do together is have sex, that's a huge red flag, signaling that the guy's not really interested in doing anything else with you.

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4. Don"t you like my [hairdo, weight loss, new outfit]?

If your guy hasn't noticed your new outfit or haircut, it's easy to let this slip, while calling him on it puts him on the defensive, says Aretakis. In response he may lie, develop a testy attitude or decide to spend less time with you, because he feels like you're asking him to work too hard. If you want to get him to notice, do it tactfully. Aretakis suggests saying something like, "Maybe you haven't noticed, but do you like my new hairdo?" Or, if you've lost some weight, bring it to his attention by saying, "Have you noticed I've lost 10 pounds in the last six weeks? My goal is to lose five more." He should respond to that.

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5. Don't you want to go shopping?

Aretakis says this is how guys interpret this, "You hate my favorite T-shirt and ripped jeans, and next, you'll be wanting me to get a new hairstyle." It's even worse if you're trying to make him wear clothes he doesn't like, as it tells him he has to change for you to love him. True, some guys won't be bothered by this, especially once you're married, but it could make others think twice about you.

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6. Can we talk (while he's attempting to watch a football game, work out or unwind from a hectic business trip)?

It's not so much the question as the timing here, explains Aretakis. Any strong relationship needs good communication skills, so this is certainly a valid question. But ask it when he's not occupied with other things.

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7. I only slept with [insert number] guys before you.

Do you want to know how many women he slept with? We didn't think so -- which is why you should never, ever let this cat out of its bag, Masini says.

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8. You care more about your friends than you do about me.

What your guy will hear is that you don't like him spending time with his friends because you don't trust him. "Just remember that, unlike women, when guys get into serious relationships, they hold onto their friends and find ways to involve them in their lives," Aretakis says. Of course, if he really does care more about his friends, maybe it's time to ditch the relationship.

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9. Why don't you go to the gym?

If you want your man to exercise, nagging him won't make it happen. In fact, your nagging could make him more determined not to. Plus, by asking this, you're telling him you think he's lazy, out of shape or both, according to Aretakis. There's nothing wrong with getting him to be more active -- just do it tactfully by suggesting some fun physical activity you could do together, like taking a hike and then sharing a bottle of wine.

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