13 Lies All Men Tell
What He Doesn't Want You to Know
By Ashley Neglia
Want to know what your male lover doesn't want you to know -- or hopes you won't find out? AOL Health asked Elina Furman, author of "Kiss and Run," and Michele Weiner-Davis, author of "The Sex-Starved Wife" and "The Sex-Starved Marriage" to weigh in on why men sometimes keep things from their partners and what that means for a relationship. Click through the photo gallery below to find out more about the secretive male mind.
Read this as text.
13 Lies All Men Tell
If a man denies having a wandering eye, refers to Brad Pitt's performance in "Legends of the Fall" as "cinematic genius" or professes to love wine and cheese parties as much as you, one of two things is happening: He's either gay or he's lying. AOL Health asked Elina Furman, author of "Kiss and Run," and Michele Weiner-Davis, author of "The Sex-Starved Wife" and "The Sex-Starved Marriage" to weigh in on why men sometimes keep things from their partners and what that means for a relationship.
Getty Images
My hair is as thick and as luxurious as the day I graduated high school.
Multiply the amount of time you spend staring at your pores by ten. That's how much some men obsess over their thinning manes. "Men don't want you to know about any of their vulnerabilities," says Weiner-Davis. "It's a sign of masculinity."
Getty Images
I know you would never fake it.
Whether it's facing financial pressure with aplomb or satisfying you in the bedroom, men feel pressure to live up to society's definitions of masculinity. "Men often compare themselves to other people and to their own idealized definitions of what a masculine guy is all about," says Weiner-Davis. They feel like they need to measure up, and when they don't, "it's pretty scary for them."
jupiterimages
What woman in the thong bikini?
Sometime it's hard for a woman, let alone a man, to keep from looking at that bronzed beauty sunbathing on the beach. "It's part of human nature," says Furman. "We are all attracted to beauty. Most of the time we can't stop our own reactions when we're looking at women and men." When it comes to sexuality, men are not only more visually oriented, but they're also more likely to deny a wandering eye when confronted. "It's too bad," says Weiner-Davis. "It would be better if they would admit it and reassure their partners that it's just looking and isn't going to lead to a breach of trust."
Getty Images
Honey, you have such superb driving skills I don't feel the need to wear a seatbelt.
Ladies: How many times have you gotten behind the wheel only to have to pull over blocks later to let him drive? "Across the board, all men secretly think that all women can't drive," says Furman. "It's a control issue, and it's hard to give that up." With that said, it really comes down to personality type. Even women have trouble giving up the wheel if they have a commanding, type A personality.
Photodisc
Brad Pitt and George Clooney's movies are cinematic genius.
Really? I would think this one's a no-brainer, but here it goes. The only Brad Pitt movies a man would truly classify as cinematic genius are "Se7en" and "Fight Club." The only reason he can recite all the lines to "Legends of the Fall" and "Troy" is because he knows how much you like the, um, cinematography. See? We all tell little white lies once in awhile.
What puffy under-eye circles?
Men notice the lines on their face just as much as you do, even if they don't admit it. "Men are vain," says Weiner-Davis. So it's no wonder that the percentage of men who have had plastic surgery is up 17 percent from 2007, according to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery. Surgical procedures, such as liposuction, eyelid surgery, rhinoplasty, breast reduction and hair transplantation, increased 5 percent among men, while nonsurgical procedures, including Botox injections and laser hair removal, increased by 21 percent.
jupiterimages
I love wine and cheese night, too.
Most men would rather crack a cold one and watch the game in a ratty pair of sweatpants than go to your best friend's for fondue. Hey, that's okay. "If we were to marry our clones, life would be pretty boring," says Weiner-Davis. But that doesn't get men off the hook totally. "Good relationships are based on mutual caretaking," she says. Men and women need to take part in activities that interest their partners, even if it doesn't necessarily interest them. The key is being good-natured about it and really participating, no matter how many times you rescue a soggy bread-cube from Swiss cheese oblivion. "No sulking," she adds.
jupiterimages
I'm not hurt, just angry.
When a man throws a tantrum or storms out of the house, more often he's feeling hurt or dejected instead of feeling real anger. "Men have a whole lot easier time being angry and expressing anger than saying 'This hurts,'" says Weiner-Davis. "They feel far too vulnerable."
jupiterimages
I don't care what you think.
"Men really, really thrive on and need their partners' approval," says Weiner-Davis. They hate to be criticized or feel shame, especially when their wives aren't happy. "When you say 'We need to talk,' they feel shamed and blamed, because they really want to be doing right by their partners," she says.
jupiterimages
Read and Post Comments |
More on AOL Health
Recent Comments
SilverSoul46 05:38:26 AM Aug 30 2009
Maybe it is because I am only 21, and therefore don't know that much about long term relationships. But I don't see myself as the emotional clingy woman this article makes women seem to be. I mean sure I want a good relationship, but that doesn't mean I'm going to keep my man on a "tight" anything, I like it when my man isn't into "wine and cheese" nights, I think it's cute when he wears those tatty sweat pants. He can drive if he wants to, because I like looking out the window anyway. He can have his "get away from the house" time, most likely, I have my own side projects and activities too. To me he doesn't have to be the perfect bread-winner. I would be happy to know that he loves me as much as I love him. Are relationships/marriages really this difficult?
Dickn2000b 02:03:05 PM May 22 2009
To Howardroarke43... Please explain that "dabbling in a bit of projection that is very telling. Veiled, vague, unexplained innunendo is meaningless... and stupid. sayt what's on your mind. For once be honest with us all. !Quit playing roles. Be yourself. AND being out of the dating pool for 30 years not only makes my opinion unbiased... it gives it an additional perspective that role playing dating poolers dn't have.
Dickn2000b 12:50:05 PM May 22 2009
This guy howardrourke43 is the typical male this article was written for. The mere fact that he found it necessary to post so many explanations proves that he is just another role playing, phony. My wife and I have been married for over 30 years. She's 18 years my junior. I've never lied to her. I've told her the day I stop looking at other women... call the undertaker. She loves those manflicks. Her favorite actor is Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson. I've told her that if she is lucky enough to get an offer from him.. she has my special dispensation.... go ahead. BUT if i catch her with anyone else I'll charge the guy $2.00, frame the money and hang it in our living room. When anyone asks what it's for... I'll tell them. Other than that... that answer is to simply be yourself. Don't play games and pretend to be something you're not.
Patriot36 12:12:18 PM May 22 2009
This whole article is full of crap. I really don't look at the girl in the "bikini". I don't care about thinning hair. I'm comfortable about who I am and my masculinity. My wife drives most of the time. I just can't stand Pitt and Clooney...period, no hidden agenda. I don't care about lines in my face. My wife and I have diferent tastes and activities. She doesn't wish to butcher a deer and don't wish to do a face peel or play with yarn. I actually do get angry and I say so. Don't need anyones approval, as I am who I am. I hunt, she doesn't. I don't need approval to do it. I play golf, cause I like to attempt to play. Has nothing to do with being away from her. She doesn't like it, so what. She handles our finances too, she's better at it than me, who cares? You women are the ones that need to take class. We can't understand you guys at all. You say this, but get mad because we didn't know what you meant. Just say what you mean. We do! Face that ladies. Men are not that complicated. NO
Launweisel 10:30:53 AM May 22 2009
And where are the 100 mistruths, misquotes, lies, rumors, gossip lisps that women tell all the time.
MrFlipper09 09:37:13 AM May 22 2009
Most common fib:Honey, I only had 2 beers at the pub tonight.
Masonc66789 09:27:51 PM Apr 29 2009
Not true.She hasn't met every man. She can't speak for every man.
BgPiMP513 02:33:41 AM Apr 22 2009
I Do not believe in this time of age those lies are applicable because the lies told now are far worse than "what women in a thong bikini "and these lies are ridiculous and whoever says them are plain idiotic and just make the women who believe it seem even more idiotic I believe the number one most told lie is "I love you" 3 little words that can be told to a women and can change her well with out thinking I believe now a days all women look for the strong masculine good looking guy and even if it is a lie they want to hear it those 3 little words" I love you" and try to do all odd amounts of things to hear it i believe society is filled with women and men who know what they want and try to get while the man wants only pleasure the women wants love and yet i can make a bet on this women will pick the jerk over the sweetheart everyday just because he looks a little better than the other guy and in the end the women just get hurt and fall deeper out of believing there is true love
