Discover Your Type

Discover Your Type

Helen Fisher, author of "Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love," built on her investigation of genetics and neurochemistry for her latest book, "Why Him? Why Her?: Finding Real Love by Understanding Your Personality Type." The tome offers detailed portraits of each personality genre, a quiz that reveals your personality category, and information about the species of man you fit with. According to Fisher, "The most important thing about this book is not just understanding who you are but using who you are. All four types make mistakes that they could avoid if they knew more about the type that they are."

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The Four Personality Types

According to Fisher, "There are only a few chemicals that seem to be directly related to personality traits. I came to believe we've evolved four very broad personality styles associated with the chemicals dopamine, serotonin, testosterone, and estrogen and oxytocin. And these four chemical types I call the Explorer, the Builder, the Director, and the Negotiator."

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The Explorer

The Explorer, who expresses activity in the dopamine system, tends to be risk-taking, novelty-seeking, curious, creative, spontaneous, energetic, enthusiastic and optimistic. Explorers tend to be drawn to people like themselves.

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Explorer Dating Rules

Explorers are so charismatic, interesting and charming that people fall in love with them too fast. When dating, Explorers need to go slower. They shouldn't leap into things, because that can get them into trouble.

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The Builder

The Builder expresses with serotonin. These people are calm, social, popular, cautious, but not fearful. Very managerial, they're good at networking. Family's very important to them. They're conventional, often religious. Builders also go for people like themselves.

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Builder Dating Rules

The Builder tends to follow rules and schedules, but you've got to take some risks when you're dating. They're very socially skilled and network-y, so they might take a new date to meet their friends when the date might just want to spend the night with them.

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The Director

The Director is expressive of testosterone. Directors are direct, decisive, tough-minded and often understand music very well because music is very structural. They're competitive, ambitious and very good at spatial relations. Directors are drawn to Explorers.

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Director Dating Rules

The Director often thinks dating is a pain in the neck. They want to get to the point. They also make up their minds too fast, so in the middle of the date, if they realize this isn't going anywhere for them, they can be very rude. They've got to relax.

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The Negotiator

The Negotiator is expressive of estrogen (both men and women can be expressive of estrogen). These people see the big picture. They're imaginative intuitive, compassionate and verbal.

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Negotiator Dating Rules

The Negotiator is so flexible, so agreeable, so kind that people can see them as a doormat. They've got to stick up for themselves. The Negotiator sees the nuances in everything, but they've got to scale it back and not over-think everything.

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