Love and Sex Myths From the Movies

Love and Sex Myths from the Movies

By Mary Kearl

Love means never having to say you're sorry. Making love is equivalent to being in love. Oh, and it also means really great sex. These are just a few of Hollywood's ideas about love and love-making, but how much truth lies in these beautiful, if not simplistic, messages? We discuss the top movie-made misconceptions about romance with noted love and sexual health experts.

One-night stands lead to marriage, family

The storyline has been told in many ways, most recently in 'Knocked Up,' where a night of risky, unprotected sex leads two strangers to consider a long-term relationship of either parenting, marriage or both. "The odds are against any couple that this can actually work out to a happy and healthy relationship and family life," says Amy Levine, a certified sexuality educator and founder of Sex Ed Solutions, because having a baby doesn't mean two people will be compatible.


Universal

Sex is always pretty, easy and never messy

Making love on diamonds -- sexy, but painful? James Bond and his many, many lovely leading ladies never seem to have anything less than picture-perfect sex. And Halle Berry as Jinx, is no exception in 'Die Another Day.' "If you've ever had sex, you know this is a myth," says Levine. "No one's body is perfect. Sex isn't seamless -- it can involve starting and stopping, condoms are often left out but are necessary to use to reduce the risk of STDs...positions may change as a couple finds what works for them...the list goes on," says Levine.

MGM

A relationship based on a lie can work out

The premise and happily-ever-after-endings of romantic comedies like 'Someone Like You,' 'Ten Things I Hate About You,' 'Never Been Kissed,' 'She's All That,' 'Twenty-Seven Dresses,' 'Tootsie,' and the list goes on, is that a relationship based on a lie can work out, if you are truly in love. Not so, says AOL Love and Sex Coach Yvonne K. Fulbright, Ph.D., and author of 'Touch Me There!' "Being lied to is one of the biggest betrayals that people have trouble forgiving, especially at the start of a relationship. Most people aren't good at practicing forgiveness and compassion, which are required in starting with a clean slate again.


20th Century Fox

Being in love=great sex

"People love the idea of an instant connection and sexual compatibility," says Dr. Fulbright. "Situations like those captured in 'Titanic' are few and far between, yet people thrive off of them because they are the seeming pinnacle of love, primarily for the ease involved. In 'Titanic,' long-term consequences aren't an issue," but in real life, how does thinking great sex is the equivalent of love look like six months, or a year later?


Fotos International / Getty Images

You have to change who you are to make a relationship work

Sandy from 'Grease,' is just one of the many females leads who changes or gives up some part of her identity to be in a relationship. "When someone tries to reinvent themselves in a way that's not rooted in their true self in an effort to make a relationship work, it only goes so far," says Levine. "The secret to a healthy and lasting relationship that few films reveal: Be yourself."


Getty Images

Love is waiting for you -- you can stumble upon it anywhere

In 'The Wedding Planner,' Matthew McConaughey appears out of nowhere and saves Jennifer Lopez's character from a near-fatal collision with a runaway dumpster and from a lifetime of waiting for love. "Sitting around waiting doesn't generally work because you aren't out there meeting people," says Rita DeMaria, Ph.D., AOL Love and Sex Coach and director of Relationship Education at the Council for Relationships. "The more people we meet the better the chances we can meet a good love match."


Sony

Sex buddies can become long-term lovers

This one of the troubling Hollywood gloss-overs found in movies like 'Pretty Woman.' "When sex is the foundation -- whether it's sex buddies, friends with benefits, a one night stand, or having sex on the first night of meeting someone -- hoping it will turn into something more is a surefire mistake," says Levine. "The main reason why this relationship ended up working was that expectations were set up from the beginning."


Everett Collection

There is one Mr. Right

Plot lines of romantic comedies often follow female leads like Bridget Jones in their search for a Mr. Right, which can be a good message, if the moral is "don't settle," says Dr. Fulbright. She adds, however, that "there are a bunch of 'Mr. Rights' for people, as some individuals are going to be more attractive in the package they have to offer than others...This outlook becomes unhealthy if you limit it to the idea of there only being one and have 'perfectionist' standards, as that's unrealistic."


Everett Collection

Fate or destiny controls your love life

"Believing in fate is how some people live their lives, and it can work," says Levine, as is the case for Kate Beckinsale and John Cusack in 'Serendipity.' "However," Levine adds, "when free will is taken out of the equation, the passivity can prevent one or both people from going after what they truly want out of a relationship. In this scenario, fate can be classified as settling."


Everett Collection