Medical Issues and Your Sex Life

Medical Issues and Sex

By Vicki Salemi

Forgetfulness, inattentiveness, lack of interest, difficulty completing tasks, and impulsivity can all wreak havoc on relationships. And they're all hallmarks of various medical issues. Although various mental and physical ailments may interfere with relationships, there are short and long-term solutions.

ADHD

When it comes to attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, forgetfulness, impulsivity and distractibility may hinder a relationship. "By driving your partner bonkers, it causes conflict and you can't stay focused or get things done," says Philip Lanzisera, Ph.D. For the short-term he says it's important for patients and their partner to understand the things they can control and things they can't. For instance, use a day planner to develop consistent routines, even sex. Longer term solutions include a combination of behavior modification, lifestyle changes, counseling and possibly medications.


Depression

Experiencing an extreme level of sadness, disinterest and helplessness can impact a relationship in a variety of ways. "The key is getting the person involved in enjoyable activities," says Dr. Lanzisera. For instance, the short-term remedy includes the not-depressed partner using soothing techniques, such as a soft tone of voice and patience. Dr. Lanzisera also recommends a combination of treatments of medication along with therapy for the long haul, since this chronic condition may be recurring. "Once you've been depressed you have a high risk of being depressed again."


Alcoholism and Substance Abuse

When one person consistently abuses alcohol or drugs, he or she may become abusive to their partner or be continuously absent (in mind or body) in the relationship. Dr. Lanzisera explains, "It's a problem that needs to be recognized in order to do something about it." This may involve a direct-and-supportive intervention.
Long-term recovery can be found in support groups such Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon, whereby the partner and alcoholic participate on the path to recovery.


Eating disorders

People with anorexia, bulimia and overeating disorders normally experience some impact on their sex drive. There's the sadness. The lack of energy. The shame. And the underlying issues of control. There's some sort of psychological trauma at the root of an eating disorder, says Caryn Sabes Hacker, ACSW, DCSW. Healing that trauma's impact on the psyche can go a long way to salvaging a healthy sex life. While there's no short-term fix, Hacker says the key is to find a competent and caring therapist. As for the partner, "Give yourself permission to not be responsible for the other person's food intake. It's not your job to force that person to eat (or the opposite)."


Anxiety and Panic Disorders

Studies show that anxiousness, nervousness and stress can reduce sexual desire in both men and women. The effects of anxiety and stress are as much psychological as physiological. For example, many people tend to isolate when experiencing an anxiety attack. Additionally, adrenaline, which is secreted in our bodies when we are stressed, shuts blood flow away from the genitalia. "When one member of the couple feels socially debilitated, it can impact what the couple can do together," says Sabes Hacker. Her advice? Know your triggers. For the long-term, consider an anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication.

Bipolar Disorder

"Behavior can be erratic," says Michael Finkelstein, MD, a board-certified internist and certified holistic physician. "Whether they're experiencing a high or a very low phase, people need to be compassionate and patient with their partner." That means understanding "the lows" -- ranging from uncontrollable crying to irritability -- to "the highs," often marked by hyper-sexuality. In fact, hypersexuality is often the ruin of a bipolar person's marriage or relationship. Finding the right medications to control mania can keep hypersexuality at bay.


Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

Joint pain, weight gain, PMS, premature menopause and low sex drive are all hallmarks of chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS). It can wreak havoc on your sex life. "If there was a simple medical remedy, no one would have chronic fatigue syndrome," notes Dr. Finkelstein. Therefore, he says it's addressed by an integrated approach, including a diet rich in vitamins and minerals and yoga, rather than with medicine alone. Acknowledgment of the disorder is also critical. Partners of someone suffering from CFS ought take special care to not to use labels like "hypochondriac" when discussing their spouse or significant other.

Chronic Pain

Similar to chronic fatigue, the continual feels of pain can destroy the pleasures of sex. You hurt too much or feel too tired for sex. If you're on pain medication, it may diminish libido or inhibit sexual function. Chronic pain can also drive an emotional wedge between you and your partner. Before that occurs, consider creative ways to make love that won'thurt, such as oral sex or new positions. Touch of any kind increases intimacy.


Diabetes

High blood sugar and high cholesterol, hallmarks of diabetes, affects many processes in the body. Sexual response is one of them. It can cause nerve and blood vessel damage and even reduce blood flow. Which underscores studies which show that anywhere from 35 to 75 percent of men with diabetes will develop some degree of erectile dysfunction. It is possible to turn your sexual functioning around, however, with the right diet, exercise, not smoking and working with your doctor to put a healthy lifestyle in place.