What's your type? Talk, dark and handsome? Short, bald and chubby? Muscular, unavailable and angry? How about Explorer, Builder, Negotiator or Director? These are the four personality types that anthropologist Helen Fisher coined during her research into why we fall in love with certain people but not others. According to Fisher, interpreting these types can help you navigate the dating ocean and net the perfect tuna (or man, if that's what you prefer). Read on to figure out your type, find out who you match up with and get clues for dating by personality.
Helen Fisher, author of "Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love," built on her investigation of genetics and neurochemistry for her latest book, "Why Him? Why Her?: Finding Real Love by Understanding Your Personality Type." The tome offers detailed portraits of each personality genre, a quiz that reveals your personality category, and information about the species of man you fit with. According to Fisher, "The most important thing about this book is not just understanding who you are but using who you are. All four types make mistakes that they could avoid if they knew more about the type that they are."
The Four Personality Types
According to Fisher, "There are only a few chemicals that seem to be directly related to personality traits. I came to believe we've evolved four very broad personality styles associated with the chemicals dopamine, serotonin, testosterone, and estrogen and oxytocin. And these four chemical types I call the Explorer, the Builder, the Director, and the Negotiator."
The Explorer
The Explorer, who expresses activity in the dopamine system, tends to be risk-taking, novelty-seeking, curious, creative, spontaneous, energetic, enthusiastic and optimistic. Explorers tend to be drawn to people like themselves.
Explorer Dating Rules
Explorers are so charismatic, interesting and charming that people fall in love with them too fast. When dating, Explorers need to go slower. They shouldn't leap into things, because that can get them into trouble.
The Builder
The Builder expresses with serotonin. These people are calm, social, popular, cautious, but not fearful. Very managerial, they're good at networking. Family's very important to them. They're conventional, often religious. Builders also go for people like themselves.
Builder Dating Rules
The Builder tends to follow rules and schedules, but you've got to take some risks when you're dating. They're very socially skilled and network-y, so they might take a new date to meet their friends when the date might just want to spend the night with them.
The Director
The Director is expressive of testosterone. Directors are direct, decisive, tough-minded and often understand music very well because music is very structural. They're competitive, ambitious and very good at spatial relations. Directors are drawn to Explorers.
Director Dating Rules
The Director often thinks dating is a pain in the neck. They want to get to the point. They also make up their minds too fast, so in the middle of the date, if they realize this isn't going anywhere for them, they can be very rude. They've got to relax.
The Negotiator
The Negotiator is expressive of estrogen (both men and women can be expressive of estrogen). These people see the big picture. They're imaginative intuitive, compassionate and verbal.
Negotiator Dating Rules
The Negotiator is so flexible, so agreeable, so kind that people can see them as a doormat. They've got to stick up for themselves. The Negotiator sees the nuances in everything, but they've got to scale it back and not over-think everything.
Some Types Clash
There are some personalities that are more likely to clash. Two Explorers are never going to have a fight over how you mop the floor, because they're both enormously flexible. Two Builders will create a marriage that will last 50 years, but they'll bicker over the way you mop the floor because each one has the right way of doing something. The oddest match would be two Directors. They're both workaholics, so they won't spend a lot of time with each other, and neither has good people skills. But as long as they continue to think "this person is the cat's meow," they'll be able to sustain the relationship. If you really love someone you can make any union work.
Figure Out Someone's Type
You can often figure out which type people are by looking at their online dating profiles. Explorers use the words adventure, fun, novel, interesting, travel, open. The foremost word that the Builder uses is family. The foremost word that the Director uses is intellectual; their other top words were political, debate, geek, nerd. And the foremost word that the Negotiator uses is passionate.
