Getting a diagnosis of Alzheimer's or dementia can feel like running full-speed into a brick wall. After you get the news, it's likely you'll have questions about how the diagnosis will affect your life. Even if slight memory or personality changes have occurred before diagnosis, almost nothing can prepare a person for hearing that he or she has dementia. Married couples often find it extremely difficult to navigate through life right after an initial dementia diagnosis.

Allowing a dementia diagnosis to take over your life will not help you cope with it. A diagnosis gives a reason for your symptoms, but it doesn't tell you definitively what your disease course will be. With any chronic disease, patients are often told to stay positive. This will not always be possible, so make sure you have someone to talk to. Dementia support groups are critical—for you as well as your loved ones. Support groups give you a forum to talk about your emotions and get input from others who are in the same boat as you.

Keep up the Conversation
Communication can become complicated for everyone who is personally affected by the diagnosis. Spouses often change incrementally into caregivers. This change in roles can dramatically impact a relationship. Both of you must navigate the new terms—and limitations—of your relationship. Allow yourself, and your partner, to be sad, frustrated and angry. Your feelings are valid. The only rule? Don't wallow.

Recently diagnosed individuals should not let the difficult situation result in a breakdown of communication. Talk about the future with your spouse. Make sure he or she knows that you understand the caregiving role could prove overwhelming. Share your expectations and ask what your spouse's are. Working together now is the only way your spouse will be aware of your wishes if you are unable to articulate them clearly in the future.

Most importantly, don't play the blame game. Spouses who become caregivers make life easier for everyone by being able to express and vent frustration without blaming themselves or their partners. Determine what is within your control and what is not. Recognize when your love and determination will not change a situation. As for letting go of things outside your control: try actively seeking out the things that bring you joy. The rest will come.

Knowledge is Power
A diagnosis gives you some inkling of future possibilities. Try to anticipate medical and financial concerns beforehand. Set up meetings now with an attorney, financial planner or family members so that both of your wishes are known and in writing.

Make time for the activities you and your spouse can still enjoy together. Try activities where the disease will be less likely to infiltrate. Something as simple as suggesting that you both go for a walk is a great start. If traveling is a favorite pastime, then the spouse with dementia can still take trips, but may have to leave certain aspects, such as planning, to someone else. Shared activities can also become a way to deal with the frustration; take a few moments to leave the situation and you'll come back to it with a new perspective.