Effective communication is essential to the success of every relationship, but it is particularly important if you are a caregiver caring for your elderly parents. Whether your parents depend on you for a little or a lot, you will always be a child in their eyes, no matter what your age. Oftentimes it is not what you say, but how you say it that determines how your message is received. We all want to be heard. Here are some ideas for improving your conversations with your elderly parents.

1. Abide by the Golden Rule
The old adage you learned as a kid is one for the ages: do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Respect your parents. Treat them as equals. Ask for, and value, their opinions—don’t forget, with age comes wisdom!

2. Be a Good Listener
Active listening requires participation, openness and receptivity. Ask your parents open-ended questions if you don't understand their behaviors. For example, instead of asking why your father wants to eat in his room, ask him how eating in his room is more comfortable for him than going to the dining room.

Minimize misunderstandings by summarizing what you hear. Repeat your parent's message to make sure you got it right. Being a good listener also means empathizing. Letting your parents know that you understand them can work wonders. Consider how you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot.

3. Take Time Out
Don't speak when you're angry or upset. Pause and think before you respond. Silence can be startlingly effective, too; try it.

Before initiating a potentially difficult conversation, practice what you will say, and try to predict what the response will be. This will help you guide the conversation later, and remain calm when you might not be otherwise.

4. Cultivate Your Communication Style
How you speak is just as important as what you say. Maintain eye contact and enunciate clearly. Be positive and brief. Express your love and concern for your parents' well-being. Avoid body language that could be construed negatively, including grimacing, biting your lip, rolling your eyes and fidgeting.

5. Set Boundaries
It is possible to refuse your parents' requests without rejecting your parents. It's okay to say "no" when your mother's requests are unreasonable, or when your circumstances prevent you from fulfilling them. Complying with a request and then complaining about it later, whether to your parent, your spouse, or simply to yourself, will only result in resentment. Instead, ask if you could perform the task later or if someone else could do it.

6. Show Your Appreciation
Show your parents that you appreciate them. Acknowledge the good characteristics that they passed on to you as well as the valuable things you learned from them. Praise them often and publicly!