Caregiver Support
Care For Caregivers
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Caregiving can be draining on you and your family. Here’s what you need to know.
Courtesy of Prevention
Chances are, if you're reading this, that you're already a member of the more than 22.4 million households involved in caregiving. Becoming a caregiver is a personal evolution and identity in itself.
Sometimes you settle in to the role gradually (Mom is less independent), and other times the shift is practically instant (Mom had a stroke). Regardless of how you come to be a caregiver, most of us are pitched into the responsibility untrained and largely unprepared. But there is help.
Remember high school English and the words of the English poet and clergyman John Donne: "No man [or woman] is an island"? Well, you shouldn't be either. You need the physical and emotional support of others, especially if you're the primary caregiver. You get that support by reaching out to family and friends--in essence, by building bridges between the islands.
These bridges are crucial if you want to thrive in your caregiving role. As Gloria Cavanaugh, president and chief executive officer of the San Francisco-based American Society on Aging, observes, "Caregiving is one of the most challenging tasks a person can take on, especially if the situation lasts for more than a few months. You can't do it all yourself. You need help, and lots of it."
As a caregiver, you're going to develop a whole new set of skills, not the least of which is reaching out to others. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but with practice, it will build courage and self-confidence.
Perhaps you want to ask for help, but you don't know how. You can learn. Consider it a caregiver's rite of passage.
Ask for Help
Your immediate assignment is to figure out what sort of support your loved one needs right away or in the very near future, and what services you, or possibly community agencies, can provide. That way, when you approach other family members for help, you can be very explicit about which tasks they might take on. And you may feel more comfortable asking for their help once you see just how much you're doing and what remains to be done.
You'll need to assemble a caregiving to-do list. Experts recommend following these steps to organize the support you need:
"Contact just one office to start," Cavanaugh advises. "The person there can direct you to other places as necessary. You can make a lot of valuable connections with very little time and effort."
However you decide to move forward, you'll know you've done your homework, thoroughly researching community resources and all of the services they provide. You've done everything you can without your family's involvement. Now all of you must decide on your respective roles in your loved one's care.
