Domestic Violence: How To Help

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How to Help

Many victims of domestic violence are willing to talk about their relationship when they are approached in a kind and understanding manner. But don't confront a victim if the person is not ready to talk. Let the person know you are willing to listen whenever she or he wants to talk. Be understanding if the person is unable to leave. He or she often knows the situation best and when it is safest to leave.

Reassure the person that the abuse is not his or her fault and that no one deserves to be abused. If the person has children, gently point out that you are concerned that the violence is affecting them. Many victims do not understand that their children are being harmed until someone else voices the concern.

Remind the victim that domestic violence is against the law and that help is available. You may be able to help a victim understand his or her options. Be willing to assist in any way you can with transportation, money, or child care. Encourage your friend to talk with a health professional.

The most dangerous time for a victim of domestic violence is when the person is leaving an abusive relationship, so any advice about leaving must be knowledgeable and practical. Encourage the victim to get advice from an advocacy agency with experience in the area of domestic violence.

Helping a person contact local domestic violence groups is an important step. If you know someone who is being abused, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233) or see the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence's Web site at www.ncadv.org/resources/state.htm to find the nearest program offering shelter and legal support. There are many programs across the country that provide options for safety, advocacy, support, and needed information and services.

Encourage and help your friend develop a safety plan. This is a strategy to keep the person and his or her children safe during a violent incident, when preparing to leave, and after leaving. For more information, see the Developing a Safety Plan section of this topic.

Last updated:	March 20, 2008
Author:	Jeannette Curtis
Reviewed By:	William M. Green, MD - Emergency Medicine, Brigid McCaw, MD, MS, MPH, FACP - Family Violence Prevention
Editors:	Susan Van Houten, RN, BSN, MBA, Tracy Landauer