Does Being Honest Help You Lose Weight?

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By Sara Reistad-Long

Our recent Weight-Loss (Dis)Honesty Survey challenged you be candid about how much you do and don't reveal about weight issues. Then, we asked five top diet experts to go over your responses and tell us not just what they might mean, but also which secrets are best told, and which are fine to keep to yourself, when looking to maximize weight-related health and happiness. Read on, for the honest truth about this (often hazy) issue.

When (and how) people lie about their weight:

When it comes to letting friends know how much you weigh, a full 42 percent of the 2,450 survey takers said they wouldn't tell the truth. (Along the same lines, 39 percent of also said they were willing to shave up to 10 pounds off of the weight reported on their driver's license.) Surprisingly, our experts say this isn't such a bad thing. Why? "It's not anyone else's business what your weight is," says Jessica Lynn, Director of Program Development at the Hilton Head Health Center in Hilton Head, North Carolina. "Our society has placed a stigma on weight, and by answering those numbers questions you're putting yourself at risk of buying into it." Further, she continues, your numerical weight is such a poor approximation of how fit or unhealthy you may actually be -- a whole host of things, from exercise endurance to how much actual body fat you have factor in -- that even you yourself shouldn't look at it out of context.

Interestingly, according to your responses, spouses get a bit more of the straight story. You're almost 10 percent less likely to lie to your partner than your friends. Elizabeth Somer, M.A., R.D., author of "10 Habits That Mess Up a Woman's Diet" thinks she knows why: "Your spouse sees you without your clothes on, so you're already not hiding anything." In addition, the sense of competition may be less with a partner than with a peer. Overall, our panel agreed that your best bet here is probably to not get into the weight conversation at all. If you're feeling pressured to do so, you can try focusing on your broad, positive health goals.

When (and how) people lie about how they perceive others' weight:

Only 33 percent of you say you'd be honest with your partner if you thought he or she needed to shed some pounds. By contrast, 25 percent of you would opt for saying nothing at all. The real shocker here, though, may be that an entire 42 percent of you prefer the subtle approach (making healthy meals, offering to exercise together). In this case, while gentle, non-confrontational encouragement might feel like the "nice" thing to do, there's a chance of backfire.

"Do you really think your partner won't notice that he or she is suddenly being fed carrots and cottage cheese?" asks Martin Binks, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Duke and Director and CEO of Binks Behavioral Health. The concern, he explains, is that people take what you're seeing as quiet support as passive-aggressive disapproval. "Obesity is a real risk, so there's nothing wrong with speaking with a loved one about a genuine concern about their health, particularly if you do it in a kind and honest way," he says. "Then you can do all those things like offer to work out with them."

Looking farther down the survey, it turns out that just one more degree of separation makes you even less likely to get involved. When you think a friend or family member looks overweight in an outfit, 58 percent of you would say nothing, while 32 percent of you would put the blame squarely on the outfit. Only one percent of you would suggest diet or exercise.

"Most people fear that if they say something they'll anger or alienate their friend," says Denise Lamothe, Ph.D., author of "The Taming of the Chew." "They're right in that it's important to recognize that you can't make somebody change or lose weight and you absolutely shouldn't bring up something so sensitive if you think there's a risk of making them feel bad about themselves." However, she adds, if it's somebody really close to you and your concern is great, it is often possible to communicate your concern in a gentle, supportive and caring fashion. It's important to present your concerns in a low-key way that makes the other person feel like you're not judging him or her for example.

How people do and don't measure their weight:

Unsurprisingly, stepping on the scale is the favorite strategy for 72 percent of you when it comes to keeping tabs on how much you're gaining or losing. However, 12 percent of you say trying on your skinny (or fat) jeans can do the trick. And 14 percent more of you either wait until you go to the doctors' office or avoid the practice altogether. Further, among those of you who do keep up with your weight, 36 percent of you do it daily while 26 percent opt for a weekly check-up. The numbers go down from there, with five percent of you saying you never, ever check.

While it's important not to get too caught up in numbers (your weight tends to naturally fluctuate because of water retention and how much food is in your stomach at any given time), research is showing that keeping tabs on them has one distinct advantage. "Years ago, I would have told you to weigh yourself no more than twice a week," say Somer. "But data from the National Weight Control Registry, which has followed thousands of people who have lost and successfully kept off a significant amount of weight, has found that those people weigh themselves several times a week and start taking action at the first sign of gain."

A bit more frequency, it turns out, can actually make the process less scary and important-feeling -- you'll tend to have a sense of where you'll be, eliminating big build-ups and surprises. Binks even suggests plotting your weigh-ins on a graph. While it sounds more intense, it will actually help you put the small fluctuations in perspective in order to see the larger patterns. It's critical, all the experts interviewed say, to remember that the scale is just one small part of the puzzle. If weighing is consistently frustrating, experts say there's also nothing wrong with paying extra attention to how your clothes fit -- especially jeans, which are designed to follow the figure.

Next: The truth about bingeing and indulging.

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