Courtesy of Avery
At age 19, Monica Seles had won eight Grand Slam titles and was the number-one ranked women's tennis player in the world. With her father -- as her coach, best friend and constant companion -- by her side, along with her mother and older brother supporting her, and the rest of the tennis world finally taking her two-handed forehand game seriously, she was the girl to beat. Tennis was her life, and she loved it.
But on April 30, 1993, a fan of the formerly ranked number-one player Steffi Graf came onto the court during a match in Germany and stabbed Seles. It was another two and a half years before Seles played competitively. She eventually won another Grand Slam title, but her winning streak was over. She was no longer number one.
At age 35, and newly inducted into the International Tennis Hall of Fame, Seles has long since stopped debating whether this incident and the events that followed -- her father's cancer diagnosis just weeks after the stabbing and his eventual death in 1998, and her method of coping with her losses, emotional eating, which led to a binge-eating disorder and 40 excess pounds -- wrecked her career and her life. As the title suggests, her new memoir, "Getting a Grip on My Body, My Mind, My Self" is emphatic in affirming Seles's ability to reclaim control over her eating, and to allow herself to finally grieve for her personal loss and to build a new life after tragedy.
AOL Health had the opportunity to speak with Seles about her book, her recovery and what life is like after making it to the top.
Click here to read text-only, printable version of the article.
Monica Seles: I went from the number-one player worrying about my next match, to worrying, "Am I going to be able to walk?" I struggled with a lot of emotional issues for about two and a half years. Food became my best friend. I talk very openly in the book about how I turned to food for emotional issues, even though I did seek medical professional help. But for whatever reason, food was still my best friend. Unfortunately, when I came back two and a half years later to the court, even though I won a lot of tournaments, criticism from the media or other people was harsh because of my weight.
AOL Health: In addition to the negative press, boyfriends and trainers made comments about your weight.
Seles: It was hard. I look back at it now, and I can kind of smile and laugh. At that time it was very hard and hurtful. I was already self-conscious about it. I knew when I looked in the mirror that I was heavy. Nobody else needed to remind me. It’s especially hard when you open a newspaper and you see a picture of yourself next to another athlete who is just too perfect and they compare you. The sentence with me, I remember, when I won one of my tournaments in Oklahoma was, "Chubby Monica Seles Wins This Tournament." I was like "I just won a tournament! I'm number-one in the world, and I know I'm 40 pounds overweight, and I know that if I lose the weight I'd probably be a better player, but this is not helping." That was a tough period, but I think in tennis you grow to have a tough skin.
AOL Health: You consulted countless nutritionists and trainers for weight-loss advice. What kinds of diets did they put you on? Did you stick to them?
Seles: The 1,400-calorie one. The all-protein one. The food-combination one. I never want to go back to that period. It was always about restricting myself and forbidden eating. I was forbidden from eating a cookie, or from eating pasta. I would lose weight a lot of the time when I would put myself on these trick diets, but two months later I would gain it back and then some. I think my brain works in a way that as soon as I forbid myself to eat something, that is all I think about. Then mentally, it was hard to go back on the diet again. A lot of people, I think, can relate. One of the worst things we can do is gain the weight, lose the weight, gain the weight, because that's not just terrible for the body, but emotionally. The irony of it all was that I lost the 40 pounds when I really stopped exercising like crazy and just started walking and taking charge of the emotional eating. In my old days, I was playing five to six hours a day, so I was definitely exercising enough, but I was eating poor quality foods and large quantities, so I was still overweight. It just shows that exercise is very important, but you really also have to control your eating.
AOL Health: When did you admit that you had a binge-eating problem?
Seles: I think probably I first admitted it to myself -- which was the hardest -- when I got this terrible foot injury in 2003 and I had to stop playing tennis. It just really scared me, because I was playing in a sport where everybody was super-skinny, just beautiful. I thought, "Oh wow, I'm not going to be able to play tennis for a long time. My foot has to be in a cast. I'm turning 30, which in my profession is ancient ... What am I going to do? I'm heavy. I'm going to be even bigger." That's when I sat myself down and said, "There's nothing wrong with being heavy. All of us can be whatever we want to be. Don't beat yourself up. If you want to lose weight, you know the tools. You have to make that shift in your mind and do this for yourself." I think the big turning point was when I decided I wanted to do this for myself, not for a boyfriend, not for a tournament, but for Monica. That's when my brain started shifting and when I stopped being so negative and so hard on myself.
Next: Dealing With Her Father's Cancer Diagnosis and Death and Finding a Life After Tennnis
