AOL Health: How long were you in the hospital?
Fox: Well, normally you're out in about three days. When youre aspirating, one of the possible side effects is pneumonia, and I came down with it. So I came in on a Monday and left about dinnertime on Friday. Until the second day when the doctor told me how serious it was, I honestly thought I was going to be back in school the next day. I didn't think it was that serious. When I started doing a little bit of rehab, I realized how exhausted I was, and reality started setting in. Thank God for small favors -- my family was around as much as I needed them to be.
AOL Health: When were you able to go back to work?
Fox: I went to school about a week before the end of the school
year for half days. I tried to go back for full days, but being a
teacher is physically demanding and stressful. This year, I went back
to school [full-time]. But it was still difficult physically. The
emotional side was very complex, because teaching is such a stressful
situation. I love teaching with a passion, but the ups and downs of
trying to be a good, or exceptional, teacher are very difficult.
Dealing with the emotional side and fighting the depression
-- kids can make it very difficult. Going through the trauma I went
through can bring on post-traumatic stress. So dealing with depression
and post-traumatic stress was very difficult for me. Working for a
district that doesn't provide books for the electives I teach --
technology, computers, Web design, and business -- because of budget
constraints, only exasperates teachers. It made the whole first
semester really, really difficult to teach.
AOL Health: How did you deal with the depression?
Fox: Depression is very real, and it got very dark until I
accepted the fact that I was suffering from depression and
post-traumatic stress. I tried to buck up and deal with it, but it
didn't help. When I went to see a doctor at Northwestern University
Hospital in Chicago, I learned that depression is real. One of the
reasons I kept writing the book was to help people work through the
emotional side of [heart attacks] and the darkness of depression. I'm
doing this for a reason. I started taking the depression medicine
Cymbalta. That helps.
I also use mental calisthenics. I try to find what I call in the book
"Mount Everest" moments, when you create things that are a challenge
and go about the steps to accomplish them, and you feel on top of the
world when you finish. Those are the type of things that help focus
your mind. One of mine happened when I wanted to start riding my horses
and my wife wouldn't let me do it because of the physical stress. I
started riding them around in my round pen here at my house, and
eventually she agreed to let me ride on a trail ride. After riding a
good part of the morning at Lockwood, the place where we go riding, I
stopped because I was physically tired. One of my horses got back into
the trailer and the other one wouldn't, and I kept trying for a half
hour to get her back in the trailer. My Plan B was to ride her home. To
give you an idea of how long it took -- 12 hours later was my early-on
"Mount Everest" moment. I rode her 25 miles. I convinced myself that I
could physically do it and mentally do it.
AOL Health: Are you still dealing with post-traumatic stress and depression?
Fox: Yes. That is something that is ongoing. It's not like a
broken bone. You can't take it and put a cast on it and fix it. It's
something you learn to deal with on a daily basis. There are still
flashbacks. There are moments that memories come back. Vivid memories
come back. There are times when my wife says I'm being quiet, my
daughter does, my son does. It's a mental challenge. I'm still taking
stuff to deal with the depression. It's something you have to work on
handling better on a daily basis.
AOL Health: When did you decide to write the book?
Fox: When I was going through this [depression and
post-traumatic stress related to the heart attack], my daughter went on
the Internet looking for books, and all we could find were books
written by doctors and health professionals. She was really frustrated,
because she didnt know how to help. And I decided to write it.
A publisher didn't come to me to write about this. I wrote it, and I
self-published. I [wrote] this to help heart attack victims to
understand it better. I wrote it for the loved ones to understand how
to be there better for the victims. I wrote it for the doctors so they
can understand better how to help the victims. I also wrote a fair
amount that was directed at the hospital to make it easier for the
loved ones and the victims to get through the process. I spent a small
fortune on this. My wife and I teach high school. Teachers don't make a
fortune. I spent a quarter of my yearly pay on this. It's very, very
important to put out there. What is going to happen, what could happen
in the near future. When my mom read this book, she said, "It's kind of
depressing, but it gets better at the end." Heart attacks aren't
exciting. They aren't uplifting. For about half the book its very
brutally honest. I put myself out there. I did that because I think
it's critical that people know the psychological side of things.
AOL Health: Was finishing the book a "Mount Everest" moment for you?
Fox: The anniversary of my heart attack just passed not too long
ago. On the back of the book, there's a picture from March 26, 2009,
when we took 90 students to New York on a field trip for my wife's
classes. I actually finished it on the way back from that trip on a
Coach bus back home [to Rock City, Ill.]. I actually finished the book
on the date of my anniversary. This was very much a Mount Everest
moment for me. As I say at the end of the book, "I firmly believe that
I was blessed on March 31, 2008. I believe I was given that luck for
some special reason. Perhaps that special reason is writing this book.
If I am able to bring comfort, hope and a greater understanding of
heart attacks to loved ones and heart attack patients then I am living
for a valid reason." There's got to be a reason he shocked me that
seventh time. Normally doctors don't keep shocking past two or three or
four times, and for him to keep shocking past that to seven -- there's
got to be a reason.
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