Garet Fieldsells
By
Michelle Burford
At first glance,
"Inside Edition" chief correspondent Jim Moret appears to have it all: a wife of 27 years, three children, a California home, and a stellar 25-year career during which he served as a
CNN anchor. Yet, in 2008 when the lawyer and journalist fell into a financial crisis that sunk him into a
depression, he contemplated ending his life.
Moret chronicles his journey from despondency back to hope in the forthcoming memoir, "The Last Day of My Life." He uses his life-altering experience to explore a single question: If this were the last day of my life, how would I live it? Through a series of vignettes Moret presents in the book, the husband and father re-discovers what he cherishes most.
Aol Health: What led you to consider suicide in 2008?
Jim Moret: When my career took a dip, I relied on the equity in my house to stay afloat. I took one of those risky [subprime mortgage] loans. Once the interest rate escalated, I was looking at $10,000-a-month mortgage payments. Though I was working, I was afraid I would lose everything. If you have no job, you think,
All I need to do is get a job and everything will be fine. I had a great job, and it still wasn't going to be fine. No matter what I did, I felt doomed financially.
So one day when I was driving on a narrow, windy road in a remote area of Malibu [California], my thoughts were very dark. It struck me that there were no guardrails, and there was a very steep incline. I thought,
This would be the perfect spot to go right over the edge. I'm worth more dead than alive. I knew that I had a $3 million insurance policy that would pay off to my family, and they wouldn't have any financial problems.
You should consult a doctor if you or someone you know is suffering from depression. For natural ways to ease some symptoms of depression, click on the gallery. Note: Please disable your pop-up blocker. Interview continues below.
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Natural Ways to Beat the Blues
By Judi Ketteler
There is no one single cause of depression -- and no one magic remedy, says Rob Udewitz, Ph.D., director of Behavior Therapy of New York. There are two major categories of depression: reactive depression (depression caused by a major life change, a crisis or a loss) and chronic depression (depression that returns again and again and may or may not be tied to specific life events). "The treatments for both types of depression are similar," Udewitz says. Medication is always an option, but many of Udewitz's clients have luck trying one or more of the following natural remedies.
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By Judi Ketteler
There is no one single cause of depression -- and no one magic remedy, says Rob Udewitz, Ph.D., director of Behavior Therapy of New York. There are two major categories of depression: reactive depression (depression caused by a major life change, a crisis or a loss) and chronic depression (depression that returns again and again and may or may not be tied to specific life events). "The treatments for both types of depression are similar," Udewitz says. Medication is always an option, but many of Udewitz's clients have luck trying one or more of the following natural remedies.
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Valerian Root
Valerian root is most commonly used as a sleep aid, but some people have found it helps with anxiety and mood as well. Udewitz hasn't seen solid scientific evidence that it helps, but does have patients who have tried it and seemed to have benefited from it. A review article in 'American Family Physician' (published by the American Academy of Family Physicians) reached a similar conclusion.
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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
A registered therapist can use this type of "talk therapy" to help you understand your own patterns of thought, Udewitz says. "We pay attention to the language going on in your mind to see how you judge yourself and your perceived lack of ability to change anything in your life," he says. The goal is to become empowered to stop the negative thoughts and make the appropriate changes.
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Group Therapy
It's true that there is strength in numbers -- especially when you're trying to work through difficult issues. "Many people feel alone in their experiences and a group gives a sense of belonging," Udewitz says. Group therapy is especially helpful for things like social anxiety (which often goes along with depression) because it gives you practice talking in a group setting.
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Exercise
"I definitely recommend exercise and probably talk about it in every session," Udewitz says. Not only does exercise release endorphins -- natural "feel good" chemicals -- it also gets you focused on goal setting. Udewitz is a big fan of running, but counsels that people should do whatever form of exercise feels good to them -- and one they'll stick with.
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Rework Your Diet
When you eat a healthy diet, you feel better physically and mentally. "Balance is really key," Udewitz says, especially since it's easy to use food as an emotional crutch, or on the other end of the spectrum, to restrict yourself too much. The recipe is relatively simple: keep processed, fried, and high-sugar foods and drinks to a minimum while focusing on whole grains, lean proteins and vegetables. It's also a good idea to avoid stimulants (like caffeine) if you're prone to anxiety.
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Biofeedback
Biofeedback machines measure physiological functions (like temperature and heart rate). It gives you information about your body (sometimes while introducing stressors) so that you can see how you are responding physically to a stress. "You can learn to regulate your physiology through breathing and quieting the mind," Udewitz says. Many psychologists (including Udewitz) use biofeedback as part of therapy.
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St. John's Wort
St. John's Wort is a yellow flowering plant that many people take to aid their depression. According to National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine (run by the National Institutes of Health), there is conflicting evidence on whether or not St. John's Wort can relieve symptoms of depression. However, keep in mind that even traditional prescription anti-depressants don't work all the time either. If you're interested in trying St. John's Wort (or any herbal supplement), always consult your doctor first, because it can interfere with other medications (including birth control pills and blood thinners).
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Meditation
Udewitz often recommends meditation to his clients, so that they learn to develop the ability to just be with themselves and their thoughts. Everyone meditates differently. Some people chant a mantra and try to focus; others just let their mind go blank and let thoughts wander in and out of their brain. A good way to get started: Focus on tracing the path of your breath.
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Engage in a Hobby
"It's really important to do something you enjoy every day," Udewitz says. We already know that hobbies like knitting can help reduce the stress response; other hobbies -- especially ones that involve working with your hands, like sewing, cooking, woodworking or gardening -- can have similar calming responses. Leisure activities can help pull you out of your funk because you're forced to focus on something outside yourself.
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Aol Health: Had your thoughts been dark leading up to that day?
Moret: Yes. I hadn't thought about
suicide, but I had thought about death and imagined my own funeral. On this day, my thoughts were very clear about what I could do. It was a frightening, humbling experience to realize that -- with a minor flick of a wrist on my steering wheel -- I could end my life. I literally stopped the car on the road because this was a wake-up call for me.
Even though my wife and three children were not with me in the car, they saved my life. I could clearly see the pain on their faces if I chose to go over. That's what kept me from going over. I liken that moment to the moment in the movie, "It's a Wonderful Life," when Jimmy Stewart is on that bridge, and he asks himself, "What if I had never been born?" When I realized that I had come
this close to ending it, I asked myself a different question, "What if this were the last day of my life?"
Aol Health: How did that question turn into a book?
Moret: It started as a journal. That day, I went home and starting writing about my trip down that road and my thoughts about going over. I didn't even discuss it with my wife. Several days later when I showed my wife what I had written, she started to cry. She said, "Is this true?" It was the first time she'd seen a concrete expression of my desire to end it all. She was extremely supportive. She said, "Jimmy, I love you. Our kids love you. And I don't care what happens, we want you." She told me to keep talking to her and writing.
That day on the road was an epiphany for me. It was the moment when I stopped and looked at the world from a different angle. I interview people for a living, and writing about this experience was like interviewing myself. It was time for me start asking myself the question that I would ask someone else: If this were the last day of my life, what would I value? What's important to me?
As I thought about that question, I began writing about
friendship. I wrote about the two closest friends I've ever had, Steve and Josh -- one died at age 18, the other at age 35. I wrote about the lessons they taught me. Then I went onto things like love. Sacrifice. Commitment. Forgiveness. I realized that on my last day, I would need to forgive. I would need to apologize. I would need to recognize what I was grateful for. I would want to acknowledge those I've loved. It was a cathartic experience. As my wife read what I'd written, she said, "This isn't just a journal. This is a book -- an experience that people can relate to."
Aol Health: How did you ultimately answer the "last day" question you posed to yourself?
Moret: I realized that, yes, we all need to make money and support our families. But we're not valued by the number in our bank account. We're valued by the relationships that we have. The people in our lives. The way we treat others. That's our legacy -- not what we've earned.
Every morning when I wake up, I go through a ritual: I imagine re-setting my 24-hour clock. I know that if today is my last day, I'm going to embrace every moment and really soak it in. Instead of getting up and saying, 'It's only Thursday -- I can't believe I have another day left until the end of the week," I say, "It's Thursday, and it's beautiful outside!" The positive approach to the day reflects back in every thing I do.
Next: How Jim Moret Beat His Depression
